Technology has a tendency to reduce friction so much that we forget there are some types of friction that are good for us, like face-to-face connection.

Instagram definitely falls into that category for me. I can post images of my art and get lots of likes, but it really isn’t the same as meeting someone in person and giving them a piece of art as a gift. Sometimes I hear back later that they’ve hung it on the wall in their office, and that has so much more meaning than a like on Instagram. I know for myself that it takes me less than 2 seconds to see an image, press the like button, and move on. So I know my IG followers are doing the same. The frictionless nature of posting on IG is not any form of substitute for gifting someone a real piece of art.

Good friction asking a friend to coffee and making time to see them and really listening. There’s effort involved in setting a date, clearing space in my schedule, coming up with a thoughtful gift, and being fully present in the moment. But that effort is exactly what makes it meaningful. It’s the kind of friction I want more of.

I think we view technology in terms of how helpful it has been in the past, things like CDs or Walkmans and the first cell phones. But we have so much power in our smartphones now, not just in the device itself but in the cloud and algorithms they’re connected to, that we forget that some of the convenience they offer is not for our sake. It’s for the sake of platforms that enable those conveniences. Especially in social media, we are encouraged to create engaging content not for us, but for the companies that advertise on those platforms. And those conveniences end up building barriers to the meaningful relationships that exist in our real lives.